When Worlds Collide....

I attended the Yoga Show with my Mum in Manchester today.  There were several reasons for wanting to attend but I had a few reservations about going as I thought maybe I would see some things as 'not really yoga'  I worry a bit about how commercial yoga has become - about how it is portrayed that you need these clothes and that accessory to practice yoga, when really all you need is your body and an open mind, some would argue that you 'need' a mat but I have practiced many times without one.

I found myself being drawn in by some of the stuff  "oh wow I really need another Ganesh statue" that kind of thing.....which was a bit disconcerting as I am always trying to de-clutter and simplify my life, but that's marketing for you, I should know I studied it and worked in a sales and marketing role for over 12 years.  In fact that was one of the other reasons I wanted to attend, because I spent a considerable amount of time in my 'old job' working on exhibition stands both in the UK and also abroad and I can remember all the hard work I had to do to get a sale!!  I wanted to experience what it was like to be a visitor to an exhibition.  I know it's not quite the same thing because the industry is very different, but it sort of feels like a conflict, yoga and sales/marketing - but I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that yoga is big business and I suppose I am part of it. 

Another reason for going was to see my Mum's reaction to everything there, she has taught yoga for over 30 years and I am fascinated by what she thinks of the yoga world in 2014.  But she took everything in and liked some stuff and wasn't keen on other stuff - but just let it all go.  She didn't get annoyed by anything she saw.   We both loved the Iyengar demo as it was very professional and to the point and we both stocked up on teas and coconut water - because we like it - not because it will make us better yogis!!

So - it is what it is - my old world of sales and marketing colliding with my yoga world and I have to accept that some of it is not for me and some of it is wonderful and exciting.  So all in all we had a lovely morning of mooching round the show, people watching while we had our lunch, and maybe even thinking about attending next year.


www.yogiclaire.com

What if....we stopped trying to control everything?

I used to be a habitual 'what-if-er'  Planning for all eventualities in most things, I suppose it is a need for control - driven by fear.  In fact most negative emotions seem to have their root in fear.  When I was doing my Sales job over 10 years ago, I used to plan my trips meticulously - ridiculously in fact.  I mean it's all very well being organised but when I did my regular trips over to Ireland I would have a whole folder full of schedules planned out for each day, allowing time for being stuck in traffic (or being stuck behind a herd of cattle on the rural Irish roads!)  I do remember one time factoring so much extra time when driving from Shannon up to Belfast, I ended up 4 hours early for an appointment.  I had breakfasted alone in the hotel restaurant as it wasn't officially open at 5.30am (they made a special arrangement, the Irish hoteliers are very accommodating)  This was all rooted in the fear of being late for an appointment and being labelled as unprofessional.

I am not such a control freak anymore, I am pleased to say.  This has been a by-product of my yoga practice and also of being a parent.  But last week I was shocked to wake up to one of my migraines, just opened my eyes and the room was spinning.  This had nothing to do with wine as I am now virtually t-total!  My eyes were doing that weird side to side thing - the medical name for it is nystagmus.  I was due to look after my sister's kids as well as my own and also due to teach a class in the evening.  So my husband worked from home and my Mum (who always comes to my rescue) came round to help while I was alternately lying in bed and being sick......but all the while I was 'what-iffing'  I was due to teach a workshop the following Saturday which was fully booked and all I could think was - 'what if I wake up on Saturday morning and am dizzy like this??'  I struggled to drag my carcass into the bathroom, never mind lead a workshop.  So then I thought OK - what would I actually do?  I would arrange for someone to put a sign on the door of the venue or better still get them to stay at the venue and tell people what had happened, I am sure people would be a bit disappointed at having their time wasted, but I am certain they would understand.  Also the alternative would be never to organise any workshops at all, just in case I had a migraine, so by that token - better stop teaching altogether.......best just sit at home waiting for another migraine to come.  Obviously that is not a way to live a life and as it turned out - the migraine passed within about  3 hours and I was actually able to teach the class on the same evening.  The workshop went ahead as planned, with no drama and I thoroughly enjoyed teaching it.

Sometimes we all make a big deal about small things and have a tendency to worry about things that will never happen.  Best to just stay with the moment and then worry about it when stuff actually does go wrong.  Worrying can be such a waste of precious time, energy and of life.........

www.yogiclaire.com

A Yoga-versary!!

I can't quite believe it has been 3 years since I started the Thursday evening yoga class at Sale Moor Methodist Church.  I can remember going to the church to have a look at the room - not sure why I needed to, as I am so familiar with the church.  I went to playgroup and Brownies there and also both of my sons went to playgroup there.  I had my 9th Birthday party there, in the cellar with my Dad playing DJ!!  Anyway, right from the start it seemed like it was meant to be, round the corner from my house is so very convenient - especially as my youngest child was only about 18 months old and I still wanted to feed and put him to bed before leaving the house to teach the class!

The room is perfect for yoga, it has a calm and serene feel to it - some of the ladies of the congregation sew banners for the walls which change with the seasons and with the religious festivals and they are so beautiful to look at whether you're a spiritual or religious person or not.  I remember one evening when I was having a bit of a tough time as we all do - I looked up and the banner that was there said "Do not fear, I am always with you"  it really seemed like a message meant for me, I saw it as a message from all the friends and family I have lost over the years, but also a message from my Mum who I have a bit of a psychic connection with.  She often says "I was thinking of you...." if I am going through anything difficult, even back in my school days doing exams she would send me positive vibes and it really helped to know she was thinking of me!  ( I think she gets a bit embarrassed when I reference her in my blog - so sorry Mum!!)

So here we are, 3 years down the line and I hope I have gone some way to achieving what I set out to achieve, non-intimidating, community yoga classes which are affordable, where everyone feels welcome and where we all look out for each other.  No-one cares what clothes you wear, what mat you have, what job you do, or how far you go into a posture......we are all there just to do our yoga.  A coming together of like minded people.

Of course this is another excuse for me to bake!! So we will have some very rustic chocolate drizzled gingerbread yogis to take home from the class this evening - just my little thank you to everyone who supports the classes.  It is down to you and your dedication that the classes can keep running.

The Thursday class is one of several I teach in the area - see my website for details:  www.yogiclaire.com

Challenges, Backbends and Suffering......

Well it's been a rum old month so far - and we're only half way through, I feel like I have been sent some challenges to deal with and am doing my best with all the tools available to me.

I have already blogged about the return of the dreaded migraine - I won't bore you with more tales of that little incident!

I also tried to go dairy free for 3 weeks - that was about 2 weeks ago and have slipped up so many time I just can't tell you!  It is so much harder than I thought it would be.  It's fine having hazelnut milk on porridge and in coffee and I can manage without cheese, also discovered M&S walnut loaf is infinitely more delicious than the Cheese Boule.  But it's the hidden dairy that seems to be in everything that makes it so difficult, like milk in shop bought mayonnaise!  The key here really is not to eat any processed food at all - because chances are it contains dairy in some form or other.  Now it's not been the end of the world for me if I have something that contains dairy because I am not lactose intolerant, I have been trying to eliminate dairy to see if the hormones in the milk are what cause my acne (yes - another long-standing health issue)  Anyway it is back to square one on the dairy free diet and  I have a new found sympathy for anyone who is lactose intolerant.

I realise that these things are not major problems in the grand scheme of things.  Coincidentally I am coming to the end of my course in Buddhism and I feel I have a more complete understanding of the idea that being a human involves a fair bit of suffering and once we are awakened to this fact then paradoxically in the knowledge of that, we relieve our own suffering.  Having this understanding has made me more stoic in light of some recent challenges, some of which I have not blogged about!

On another note - I have been taking part in the Backbendmadness2014 challenge on social media, doing a different backbend every day.  I was so undecided whether to take part in this as I knew there would be some glamorous and amazing photos of lovely people in perfect postures probably on a beach somewhere.  But then I thought sod it, be the change you want to see, and have been doing the backbends and photographing them and posting on Twitter.  Most of the postures have been done straight after my own practice at home so no time to clear away the Lego and I think my youngest child's sick bowl has made it onto one of the pictures (empty you will be relieved to know)  So my pictures are quite clearly of a busy Mum on the wrong side of 40 trying her best to improve her yoga, in the hope that someone might see it and think 'If she can have a go then so can I!'  By the way, I think I missed day 3 crescent moon - as this was the day of the dreaded migraine!

So here is hoping that the second half of the month is fairly ordinary and uneventful.....and hopefully there is nothing much to blog about at the end of the month apart from how great tedium is!!

www.yogiclaire.com

Migraine time again......

Sometimes we tick along happily in our lives taking our health for granted, I certainly do anyway.  But then something will happen and make you stop and take stock.  For me it is migraines, these weird episodes can take on many forms and most people assume it is a 'bad' headache.  For me there is no headache and for that I am blessed, but I go dizzy and I am violently sick - this is usually preceded by a few weeks (sometimes months) of hearing loss and tinnitus.

My latest episode came as a bit of a surprise - I had not had a migraine for 2 years (almost to the day) and have been taking a small amount of medication to keep them under control, and it seemed to be working.  But I had been experiencing hearing loss and tinnitus for a few weeks and then suddenly yesterday - on a beautiful early spring afternoon I was struck down with a real hum dinger of a migraine.  The fact I was walking my boys home from school was slightly inconvenient but I managed to get us all safely back home.  My head was spinning and I could feel a heavy, cold feeling in the pit of my stomach - all I wanted to do was to lie down.....Then the vomiting begins, it's quite violent and my whole body feels like it's turning inside out (sorry if that is too graphic!)  So I lay down and proceeded to turn ice cold - my eyes burning with even the dimmest of lights.

My poor kids just left me to it - all the time I was worrying about my early evening yoga class which I was due to teach in less than 2 hours......a quick and slightly incoherent phone call to my Mum (also a yoga teacher) resulted in her coming to my rescue again and covering for me.  Another garbled phone call to my husband who valiantly dropped everything at work and came home and took charge.  I just kept thinking how lucky I am to have such a great support network to help me out.

Well true to form after 2 and half hours of lying completely still with my eyes closed I started to come out of it - feeling like I had run a marathon (migraines can leave you feeling incredibly tired)  Also feeling guilty about letting my class members down - although they were in the hands of an amazing teacher...

Then I remembered something I had read in a Yin Yoga book - it said something about our lives can sometimes become too Yang in nature and then something happens and the example they gave was that we may be sent the 'gift of a migraine'.  When I read that I thought "Ha - bloody gift - that has to be a joke".  But actually it was saying that these things may happen to us as a warning to slow down, to create more Yin in our lives.  It also made me reflect on the fact that I have had 2 whole years of being migraine free and how much I took that time for granted.  Not to mention being grateful for this amazing network of people I have around me to help me out, because when you run your own business it's simply not possible to ring in sick and I absolutely hate letting people down.

So while I struggle a bit to think of a migraine as a 'gift' - I can see it as a timely reminder to take time out, to slow down (both my actions and my thinking) 

www.yogiclaire.com

Handstand anyone??

There is an abundance of yoga 'selfies' involving the handstand.  It has been drip feeding into my consciousness for a while now and I have always been a bit of a handstander over the years but not a very accomplished one (sometimes during my teens and twenties they were wine induced handstands - not very sensible!) Weirdly I mainly 'handstand' in the Summer, just as I did when I was a child.  Simply because we spent so much time outdoors and it seemed natural to try and stand on my hands, knowing there was a soft grassy blanket beneath me when I inevitably fell down!!  I suppose you could say I have been a 'fair weather hand-stander'.

There seems to be an obsession with handstands on social media and at the risk of climbing on the bandwagon of handstands, I have been doing some Winter handstands indoors, mainly with the safety net of a wall behind me.  But as usual the nagging thought in my mind is 'why are you doing it?  Is it because you have seen so many yogis and yoginis flipping up in the air and showing their own practice? Is it your ego rearing it's head yet again - taunting you to practice?'  But the other part of me says 'No, I just feel great upside down, yes it's pretty tiring and seems to expend an amazing amount of energy but it gives me a feeling of strength both physically and emotionally'

There is also another feeling of flipping everything upside down, so when negative thoughts creep in a few kicks up to the wall and I have soon got myself out of my head and into my body.  There is something liberating and freeing about doing it - maybe it's because it reminds me of being a kid again.  I was never any good at team games and competitive stuff, I just didn't care enough about winning to really try - but I always loved standing on my hands and on my head and doing cartwheels.  It's probably just a way to play and have fun - so maybe I'm not really doing 'yoga' when I am doing it, but that is a discussion for another day.......I think I'll stick with it as long as I am having fun and try not to analyse my reasons for doing it!!

The first photo is me aged about 9 years and the second photo is about 30 years later!

 

 

www.yogiclaire.com

Whimsical Nun's Prayer(17th Century)..for grumpy times!

Yesterday I found myself in a grumpy mood, no explanation for it really.  Just felt decidedly grumpy.  Maybe I am on the slippery slope to becoming a grumpy old woman I thought - but it reminded me of a reading that my Mum gave to me and it prompted me to scrabble about amongst my yoga papers to find it.  I'm not sure who originally wrote this piece or even if it was really written in the seventeenth century.  It is just a photocopied sheet that my Mum sometimes reads out in her yoga classes and I have occasionally read in my classes.  I love the whimsical, slightly tongue in cheek tone to it, but it does deliver quite a poignant message.  Needless to say - my grumpy mood lifted, and I resolved never to turn into a grumpy old woman, maybe a slightly batty, eccentric one - but never, ever grumpy!!  Enjoy.......

"Lord, Thou knowest better than I know myself that I am growing older and will some day be old.  Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.  Release me from craving to straighten out everybody's affairs.  Make me thoughtful, but not moody: helpful but not bossy.  With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all, but Thou knowest Lord, that I want a few friends at the end.

Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details, give me wings to get to the point.  Seal my lips on my aches and pains, they are increasing and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by.  I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of other's pains but help me to endure them with patience.

I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility and a lessening cock-surety when my memory seems to clash with others.  Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may have been mistaken!

Keep me reasonably sweet.  I do not want to be a saint - some of them are so hard to live with.....but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil.  Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people and give me O'Lord the grace to tell them so!
Amen"

www.yogiclaire.com