What if....we stopped worrying?

I used to be a habitual 'what-if-er'  Planning for all eventualities in most things, I suppose it is a need for control - driven by fear.  In fact most negative emotions seem to have their root in fear.  When I was doing my Sales job over 10 years ago, I used to plan my trips meticulously - ridiculously in fact.  I mean it's all very well being organised but when I did my regular trips over to Ireland I would have a whole folder full of schedules planned out for each day, allowing time for being stuck in traffic (or being stuck behind a herd of cattle on the rural Irish roads!)  I do remember one time factoring so much extra time when driving from Shannon up to Belfast, I ended up 4 hours early for an appointment.  I had breakfasted alone in the hotel restaurant as it wasn't officially open at 5.30am (they made a special arrangement, the Irish hoteliers are very accommodating)  This was all rooted in the fear of being late for an appointment and being labelled as unprofessional.

I am not such a control freak anymore, I am pleased to say.  This has been a by-product of my yoga practice and also of being a parent.  But last week I was shocked to wake up to one of my migraines, just opened my eyes and the room was spinning.  This had nothing to do with wine as I am now virtually t-total!  My eyes were doing that weird side to side thing - the medical name for it is nystagmus.  I was due to look after my sister's kids as well as my own and also due to teach a class in the evening.  So my husband worked from home and my Mum (who always comes to my rescue) came round to help while I was alternately lying in bed and being sick......but all the while I was 'what-iffing'  I was due to teach a workshop the following Saturday which was fully booked and all I could think was - 'what if I wake up on Saturday morning and am dizzy like this??'  I struggled to drag my carcass into the bathroom, never mind lead a workshop.  So then I thought OK - what would I actually do?  I would arrange for someone to put a sign on the door of the venue or better still get them to stay at the venue and tell people what had happened, I am sure people would be a bit disappointed at having their time wasted, but I am certain they would understand.  Also the alternative would be never to organise any workshops at all, just in case I had a migraine, so by that token - better stop teaching altogether.......best just sit at home waiting for another migraine to come.  Obviously that is not a way to live a life and as it turned out - the migraine passed within about  3 hours and I was actually able to teach the class on the same evening.  The workshop went ahead as planned, with no drama and I thoroughly enjoyed teaching it.

Sometimes we all make a big deal about small things and have a tendency to worry about things that will never happen.  Best to just stay with the moment and then worry about it when stuff actually does go wrong.  Worrying can be such a waste of precious time, energy and of life.........

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