What Do I Do Next?

When my husband caught Covid back in August of this year, I took the decision to cancel my classes for 7 days, this was just before a planned break when we had a holiday booked in Wales. 

When you are self employed - you budget and plan for the holiday time, accepting there is no holiday pay! But when struck down by illness or when circumstances (like my husband having Covid) forces your hand, then it can be challenging to admit that the best course of action is to stop and accept things. 

 

 It seemed the universe was conspiring to make me take a bit more of a break from my work. (In fact by law I could have run my classes but I knew the stress of knowing that it was quite likely I could contract the virus at home, wasn't worth it. I do work with an older population in some classes and did not want the worry of putting people at risk. In the end I didn't catch it thankfully)

So I was gifted some more time after having not enough hours in the day to do all the work-related and domestic jobs. I was actually quite gleeful at the thought of getting up to date with emails and sorting my admin. Paying all outstanding bills and tidying my house. The ticking off of chores on my to do list is very rewarding for me - sad but true!

However, as I was sorting through everything - I got to thinking, what happens when it's all done? When the laundry is all clean and put away. All my class plans neatly filed, class registers checked and double checked. Videos edited and uploaded. Venues paid up. Invoices sent. School uniforms bought and house looking spic and span (our house has never been spic and span!). I imagined myself sitting there with everything done... and it was utterly terrifying. I'm sure I would feel I was in free-fall, totally ungrounded...this was very interesting to me. I had been moaning about the never ending amount of stuff that needs doing, but the thought of everything being done was a terror inducing thought.

I laughed at myself! I actually spoke out loud and said - 'you're never bloody satisfied!'  In truth - all the stuff that I want to get done will NOT all get done and that is ok. 

Having time to actually step back from all the things that need to be done is important. Knowing that all the 'stuff' will never all be truly done is quite a relief, especially as I've now discovered - I don't want to get to that point anyway...do you?

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